Decoding Self Love Once & For All
Let’s get one thing straight from the start — self love goes way beyond the hashtag.
Self love is very different from self care. And it’s a never-ending, beautiful, chaotic, breathtaking journey on the path to freedom. A journey where there is no final destination.
So let’s talk about what self love truly looks like and how we can better embody it today.
Get honest with yourself.
This is a difficult step, but arguably the most vital.
Acknowledging, honoring, and actively shifting your emotional wounds, no matter how long they last, is essential to refining your mindset, habits, and patterns.
I used to be guilty of lying to myself as a defense mechanism. I believed that if I could trick myself into thinking I was past a certain situation it would accelerate the healing of it. Turns out, it doesn’t work that way.
If anything, it took me further and further away from the healing I desired. By lying to myself, I also stopped trusting myself, which became a ruthless battle between my head and my heart.
In this stage of self-honesty, be sure you’re not inadvertently designing armor against the most important person in the quest for self love…you.
You don’t need to go at it alone.
Pushing others away, building walls, and fearing vulnerability is the fastest way to fall again, as isolation and self love are two very different ideas.
Yes, self love means that you are rooted in your choices, values, standards and beliefs. That you can most definitely back yourself when needed and that you’re comfortable in solitude. With this, you will naturally set incredibly strong boundaries, be selective of your energy currents, and become fierce about what you share your attention with.
But keeping yourself at a distance so you won’t ever have to challenge your abilities in these ways is destructive and counterintuitive.
If you find yourself doing this, refer back to the above... you may have to do more inner work to fully trust yourself again so you can make intuitive decisions with more ease and less defense.
Beyond the bubble bath.
While bubble baths, scented candles, solo dinners at your favorite restaurant, manicures, massages, whatever your self care vice is may be a great way to show yourself some love, it doesn’t exactly match the depth of the self love journey.
If you’re still feeding your mind lies, harshly judging yourself when you look in the mirror, or encountering shame when speaking about your less than desirable moments...then those self care hacks won’t cut it.
When you pair a healthy, deep-healing, self love journey of acceptance and experience with that of taking care of yourself...now THAT is a very powerful dynamic!
I hope this article serves to put an end to some common myths around self love, as it’s very much an intimate (and equally rewarding) journey.
Give yourself grace, allow yourself to receive support, and continue to show up for you….even on your darkest days.
I promise if you commit in this way, you’ll see the most empowering growth and unlock your heart’s door to the next-level you’ve been craving.
XO
